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Monday, September 2, 2013

When You're Expecting... {our adoption love story}

He jokes that maybe we could park in the reserved "expecting mothers" space at Superstore... and when we pass the maternity clothes, he suggests I buy something.

He grins wide... and I can't help but laugh.

Because yes, we are expecting -- without the swollen belly -- and we have this almost-confirmed-due-date that we are eagerly anticipating.



We have car seats in our living room, and to-lists on our message board, and our to-do's build, and our emotions with it. 

We walk through Babies 'R Us with this list of things we need, and this handyman laughs when a half hour later we walk out with sidewalk chalk, a pack of a dozen for just $1.99... so productive, he says. 

But we've come so far, since May of 2012, when we said yes to this unpredictable road that has completely removed us from a place of comfort to this place of unknown, and risk, and complete dependence on a loving God who calls us to this and we wouldn't have it any other way.

So yes, there's grace and joy, when all we carry from this mega-store is a pail of colorful chalk. 


We find ourselves grabbing quick dinners, often late at night, as our schedule and routine has been wildly turned upside down. This former overly-comfortable-couple is wonderfully busy spending evenings with a beautiful sibling-pair... debriefing our visits for hours... and eating something that resembles food to keep these tired bones going. 

We're in this transition mode with the goal of having the children living with these brand new parents by the end of September. So the children are getting to know us, and we're this student of them... 

But we are unable to legally adopt as this pair not been given crown ward status by a judge. So this is called a fostering-with-a-view-to-adopt, and if ever they have crown ward status we will be their adoptive parents. Or, we could receive a call one day that the judge has plans for them to return to their biological family...

We are fully surrendered to His plan

My heart aches for these children with this uncertain future, and for the biological parents, and for the foster family, and the complete brokenness of this world...

But believing that this can all be somehow redeemed... and that in so many ways, there is already evidence of redemption.

And that is all of this unknown, He is known and knows us... and in all of our inadequacies, He is everything... and in all of the worry, He is complete peace... and with all of the loss, He can make these hearts whole. 









So we arrange bedrooms, and clear out closets... and they come and bring life and noise to these former-empty-quiet-spaces.

Together we embrace the pure joy among all this difficulty and challenges and loss... and feeling that yes, this joy can rise above these circumstances. 

And so we fall into the joy... and we're amazed at how these children do that best. 





8 comments:

  1. Every time I read your blog, I am reminded of the beautiful, sweet and faithful spirit of Ann Voskamp -- like hers, your words sing to Him so exquisitely, the words and photos bringing your story to our lives so well, to a point where we hold our breath, nod, and say "Yes!" alongside of you.

    Your journey reminds me of one I was on what seems like a lifetime ago -- and although there was an unexpected sharp turn that led me into a direction that seemed completely opposite of what I had originally said "Yes!" to, although it seemed as though those dreams weren't meant to be and it felt like yet another loss, God just had a different way to bringing my heart for adoption to life, a harder way, but it blessed me a hundredfold. Following Him is hard - sacrificial, relentless, and heartbreaking - but there is nothing more satisfying in life, nothing more than Him.

    Praying alongside of you, dear friend... keep your eyes on Him, He is sufficient in all of this -- not easy -- always worth it.

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    1. So well said JD.. I so appreciate your thoughts and wisdom on the blog today. And thank you for sharing your journey. Wonderful to serve and be faithful with you, in saying "yes"! I must say this more..

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  2. sidewalk chalk and green eggs and ham... every kid needs those things in their life. since you already have that - you're well on your way to being just fine. ;)

    seriously though - you are gonna make a great mom! [and although i've only met your handyman once, from your writing i'm positive he'll be nothing but an amazing dad. :)] praying for you. love your faith - so inspiring. :)

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    1. Oh! I'm so relieved lol ;) Your comment makes me feel ready to go - thank you for being so encouraging today! And thank you a thousand times for your prayers.. they make such a difference!

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  3. How can you even type!?! The excitement must be overwhelming! I am so deeply heart-happy for you and your kind handyman. Praying that He will supply all that you need as you turn this major corner in life and become parents.
    Blessings!

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    1. Haha! You're right! lol. I guess I'm able to type because it's my last few weeks of stillness :) Thank you so may times over for your prayers, Jenn!

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  4. "But believing that this can all be somehow redeemed... and that in so many ways, there is already evidence of redemption."

    Stephanie and Luke, you're definitely on that road of redemption and I am absolutely delighted that you are so eager for Tilly and Jab to join you.

    Luv, Dad

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  5. So wise of you to acknowledge that with adoption comes loss, but that with God redemption is possible! So thankful that God can rewrite our story's and make all things new.
    Still praying for you as you journey this path. Praying that God will bring the bonding of your hearts.
    Can't wait to see those smiling faces on the blog - yours, handyman's and the kids! :)
    Tracy

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Thank you for your comment. Your input is beyond valuable to me... I look forward to reading it.

Stephanie